Thursday, March 31, 2016
10 Experiments in Internet Radio
10. Slug Radio
“Where classic and modern alternative music collide.”
The first time I tuned into this Seattle Internet station they were playing a single by the Cheatahs, “The Swan.” With an impressive swath of alternative, from 80s punk and industrial to modern tracks by bands like Cloud Boat (a borderline jazz outfit from Great Britain), the station brushes the edges of mainstream alternative with bands like U2 and Arcade Fire. With no commercials, the station relies on donations from services like Flattr to exist. Besides iTunes, the station has nearly a dozen other access points from which you can listen. It proudly declares that it pays royalty fees through stream licensing. As an alternative music savant, once they played the Dum Dum Girls’ classic “Coming Down” Slug Radio had officially made me a convert — they fulfilled what they promised in their tagline.
“Post Punk, Underground, Electronica, African Beats, Krautrock, Ambient, New Wave Music Shows.”
At first listen, I quickly identified the artist playing as Paul McCartney. Not exactly obscure, but from there it was off to the land of punk, electronica, and the underground. Intersonik hails from Athens, Greece, but it sounded an awful lot like an awesome American college radio station on acid. Maybe not quite understanding the way Facebook works, Intersonik is listed as a person with thousands of friends. I would chalk that matter up to translation issues. Intersonik is available across multiple platforms and even has tie-ins with some local clubs in Athens. Because some of the website is in Greek I expected local European artists, but was surprised that Intersonik was at shows for American bands touring Europe like the Brian Jonestown Massacre, Helmet, and the Violent Femmes, which reinforces my belief that Intersonik is really a college radio station lost in the space-time continuum, beaming from about 1995.
“No Compression. No Limits. Canada’s Eclectic Alternative 24/7 and Commercial Free.”
As Dynamic Range Radio hails from Vancouver, I was hoping to hear one of my favorite Vancouverite indie bands, Nomeansno. Instead of punk, I was treated to some laid back country, laid back rock, laid back folk and, to complete the dynamic range, some laid back reggae. Is marijuana legal British Columbia? Because this station sounds like it’s broadcasting from a studio full of smoke mixed with incense. If you love Dynamic Range Radio, they take donations from practically every payment form available, and are one of the few internet stations with some online content outside of the realm of music. If you’re unsure if you’d like them, they’re clear about the top 100 artists they’ve played over the past years. (Hint: Bob Marley is near the top.)
“Video game remixes, geek rock and chip music, all day!”
As I scanned the last songs played list I didn’t recognize a single artist, which is quite a feat. I did recognize a handful of video games that the songs came from, but wow, talk about obscure music. Not bad, mind you, just different. The station has a mission statement that reads, “to entertain the masses while exploiting the memories of our youth while bringing back feelings of nostalgia.” I don’t think people listening to the 8-Bit Network had the same childhood as me, maybe because the kids in Philadelphia are different than those in the Midwest. Or maybe because my personal musical experiences don’t include hardcore gaming tracks from Metroid.
“Ultra-deep mix of just about everything, plus some of the world’s finest unsigned indie bands and artists.”
Back in the great Northwest, Head Case Radio has been chugging along in Seattle for nearly a decade. With a set of live DJs wedged into 24 hours of chaos, the description on Head Case Radio’s Facebook page is a paragraph long sentence that basically says ‘literally anything.’ There’s even a section for unsigned bands to submit their music for airplay, which is pretty neat. The only problem with playing absolutely anything is that it can be quite a roller coaster ride for the listener to hear the latest Dillinger Escape Plan tune, followed by Conway Twitty, followed by the biggest folk sensation from Bangor, Maine, and then INXS. The station almost challenges you to stay tuned. There’s a parental warning for explicit content label on the homepage for the impressionable youth unable to comprehend radical musical shifts.
“Classic Tracks from the Top 1,000 Best Selling Albums 1956-Present.”
Toronto has really nailed the spirit of the mixtape. With Adele my first exposure to the station, followed by a rousing rendition of the gospel classic “Amazing Grace” and a deep cut from the Dusty Springfield catalog, I technically heard all semi-familiar tunes — but I’m not familiar with any hits format that would play those songs 1-2-3. Returning to the station, I was greeted with rare versions of classics from Black Sabbath, Bruce Springsteen, and Neil Diamond. An interesting fact about Radio Kilo Disc — they have a helpful playlist of what will be coming up for the week.
“The Best in Rock, Retro, Pop, Alternative, Talk, Comedy, and More!”
Greeted with two very familiar tunes by Pearl Jam and Kenny Loggins that I hear almost daily on local radio, I thought I had made a mistake by sampling Yknot Radio. But my patience was rewarded with comedy clips and more obscure fair from popular artists such as Mick Jagger and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Searching for the whereabouts of Yknot Radio headquarters was a bit more of a challenge, but I believe they’re broadcasting from somewhere near Rockford, Illinois. Their website also declares that they pay royalties through their stream licensing agreement, and they too accept donations. Like most of the more established stations on this list, their social media presence seems to be their lifeline to their listeners, and they have multiple formats from which you can access the stream.
“Garage punk, classic rock/soul, weird stuff.”
Jumping from Generation X to the Electric Light Orchestra in a matter of moments, Dave had me locked in from the start. A fairly new station, its tagline is the modest “the greatest radio station in the world.” Before I could figure out more details, Neutral Milk Hotel and the Cocteau Twins were coming through my speakers. The station is a ground level endeavor that lacks details, as Dave’s Strange Radio could be coming anywhere and anyone (well, anyone named Dave). But the gentleman has a vision. As the 15 minute live version of a Traffic song played, I couldn’t help but admire the plucky attitude of Dave.
“420 Baby Boomer Paradise.”
I had a little apprehension about this station when first tuning in due to all the wink wink references to a certain illegal in 48 states herb, but my hesitation was quickly alleviated when I heard an amazing bluesy tune called “The Whale Have Swallowed Me” by Tommy Castro. As I continued to listen, the focus of this station seemed to be on classic rock. Not the classic rock overplayed by so many stations, but early artists from Bill Haley and Chuck Berry to about the time of Fleetwood Mac. What else is in the Boomer Paradise? Apparently rockabilly, Hawaiian, new wave, 40s pop, country, blues, and the list goes on. There’s something soothing and welcoming about Planet Pootwaddle — it’s almost like going into an audial version of a neat little antique store. “An oasis of ear candy” streams from sunny Southern California, and there’s even a Pootwaddle App.
“Urban humming stereo.”
Poplie’s web design is an ultra-cool layout that made me want to like the station. Being an American, half of the site is impenetrable even with the aid of Internet translation. After listening to Poplie for hours now, everything other than an Aaliyah remix was brand spanking new to me. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the concept of urban humming stereo. Perhaps it’s a smooth jazzy, electronic and lounge blend. Perhaps it’s a punky, feedback driven, subconscious sound immersion. Or perhaps it’s a basement DJ simply spinning songs at an underground European hipster rave. Whatever it is, it’s worth checking out.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Top 10 Songs Too Long For Their Own Good
10. Marrow – Yob (2014)
4. Maggot Brain – Funkadelic (1971)
You’ve never heard of Yob? Well Rolling Stone magazine named Marrow “the best metal song of the year, one that uses low notes to play uplifting melodies.” Clocking in at nearly 19 minutes, the song is a mesmerizing blend of doom with haunting vocals. As a matter of fact, the album Clearing the Path to Ascend is a 4 song, hour long journey into the dark unknown. This song is an incredible testament to focus as the Oregon trio holds a melody together just the right amount of time to tell the story they want to tell.9. Coma – Guns N' Roses (1991)
And on the other end of the metal spectrum, Coma is an unfocused, meandering effort that balloons just past the 10 minute mark. It’s a bloated song on a bloated double album that doesn’t belong on this list, at least, up until the 8 minute mark, that is. Then something magical happens as pain and frustration pours from Rose’s soul. Match that with an amazing guitar bed, you want to listen to the song again and again. 8 minutes of anticipation for 2 ½ minutes of pure, unadulterated genius. If the G’n’R management team would have just trimmed the first 5 or 6, or even 7 or 8 minutes off, I’m convinced that the Coma edit would have been a hit. Doesn’t matter, Use Your Illusion I & II yielded 13 other singles for the band as Coma closed an Illusion I album that sold over 7 million copies and ran for over 75 minutes. With current events being such as they are, it is interesting to note that in 1991, Wal-Mart executives balked at Guns and Roses and said “(we) feel that revenue realized from the sales of a record with objectionable lyrics would be more than offset by the discontent it might cause customers for making such product available to children.” Then the band put a warning label of their own on the album, if you don’t like the words then you can “f@#k off and go buy something from the new age section.” Eventually management capitulated to Wal-Mart and the chain got the single Use Your Illusion disc with the least objectionable 12 songs from Use Your Illusions I & II on it, Coma not included.8. Trapped in the Drive-Thru – “Weird” Al Yankovic (2006)
Off of Yankovic’s Poodle Hat album, Trapped in the Drive-Thru was a parody of the song Trapped in the Closet by R. Kelly. Yankovic’s skills as a parodist are amazing as he takes kind of a bizarre story by Kelly and makes it as “banal and mundane” as humanly possible. The clever concept of going contrarian earned Yankovic the #77 spot on the Rolling Stone Top 100 songs of 2006. A year later the video came out and despite the 11 minute running time, notched well over 5 million views on YouTube. Though known for his parodies, starting in 1989 Yankovic began experimenting with long, story based songs. Besides Trapped, Yankovic also has these lengthy cuts: The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota(6:50), Albuquerque (11:23), Genius in France (8:58), and Jackson Park Express (9:05).7. The Diamond Sea – Sonic Youth (1995)
The album version of the Diamond Sea is a 20 minute ode to the indulgences of feedback in the era of grunge. The 7 minute single is a beautiful alternative classic, arguably one of the most beloved of the 90’s. Even though the Washing Machine album only topped out at #58 on the album charts, it was still Sonic Youth’s 3rd most popular in terms of U.S. sales. More of a cult underground band for most if its 30 year existence, the band ceased to exist with the divorce of founding members Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon. Personally, my favorite Sonic Youth long song is Titanium Exposé (only 6 ½ minutes), but when researching this article, I found this review on Stereogum. This reviewer really, really liked the Diamond Sea: “an awe-inspiring masterpiece of improvisation, The Diamond Sea is a moiré of atonal scrambling and harmonic scree that feels far too short at 19 ½ minutes. “6. Welcome to the Pleasuredome- Frankie Goes to Hollywood (1984)
The album Welcome to the Pleasuredome sold a million copies, pre-order. Stop and think about that fact for a second, in a modern era where albums rarely notch the million sales mark, Pleasuredome started with a million copy head start. The title track was the 4th single, but had to be trimmed down from its 13+ minute running time. Thirteen minutes of glorious reveling in musical debauchery. Now the lyrics are loosely based on the poem Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, but if you’re familiar with the Frankie Goes to Hollywood gang, I don’t think they shared the same visions of debauchery as Coleridge. The song peaked at #2 in the UK and spawned literally dozens of remixes, singles, and 7” versions, some as short as 3 minutes, but some remixes actually made Pleasuredome LONGER.5. Third Eye – Tool (1996)
The closing track on 1996’s album Ænima, Third Eye’s lyrics are a reference to accepting one’s gifts of extrasensory perception. Okay, that’s strictly my interpretation. The elusive Tool members allow the audience to translate their lyrics with interpretations as varied as LSD hallucinations to the opening of the male phallus. Ænima was the rare album that spawned multiple singles, yet still was a multi-million unit seller and critically acclaimed all at the same time. With memorable videos for nearly every song, Third Eye opens with a memorable quote from the late comedian Bill Hicks. At 14 minutes, Third Eye pushed the total running time of Ænima to nearly 80 minutes. On the live version of Third Eye, drug-guru Timothy Leary extols the audience with these words “to think for yourself, you must question authority and learn how to put yourself in a state of vulnerable, open-mindedness; chaotic, confused, vulnerability to inform yourself.” The true meaning of Third Eye is hidden in the words of Leary.
4. Maggot Brain – Funkadelic (1971)
In Cleveland Ohio, everyone knows Maggot Brain. For nearly 40 years, some station in the area would play the song between midnight and 2 am on every single Saturday night. Unbeknownst to me, this was not a nationwide occurrence. Well that’s not my fault that the rest of the nation is so out of the loop. George Clinton himself opens the song with a short spoken word segment, and then it’s off to never, never land with 10 more minutes of what is essentially an Eddie Hazel guitar solo. Despite many theories of what’s the meaning of Maggot Brain, Clinton himself answered the question in a 2013 interview with the equally open ended answer “all the bulls@!t that we feed our mind.” Despite being in his mid-seventies, Clinton still conducts the Funk-Train as he leads a version of the Funkadelic-Parliament on tour to this very day. (Tour is scheduled through 2015, though Clinton is open to touring more.) Over a 100 members have gone through the revolving door that is the Funkadelic-Parliament machine, but it is Maggot Brain that almost single-handedly put Eddie Hazel on Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Guitarists list. Hazel never received that honor, or the honor of being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, he died of liver failure in 1992.3. 3 Days – Jane’s Addiction (1990)
This song is seemingly more well known for the banned cover art that graces the Ritual de lo Habitual album than the masterfully crafted 10 minutes opus inspired by a drug fueled threesome experienced by lead singer Perry Ferrell. The cover artwork is a visual representation of every song on the album, with 3 Days as the focus. By focusing the art on 3 Days primarily, the Jane’s Addiction boys found themselves in the cross hairs of Wal-Mart. The controversy forced band management to go with an alternate cover, then the band came back with an alternative black and white cover with the First Amendment as the artwork and this message on the back “Hitler’s syphilis-ridden dreams almost came true. How could it happen? By taking control of the media. An entire country was led by a lunatic…We must protect our First Amendment before sick dreams become law. Nobody made fun of Hitler??!” As for the song itself, Ferrell crafts the erotic, yet blasphemous, story, while Dave Navarro counters with blazing guitar solos that almost turn 3 Days into a duet between singer and guitar. Tensions between band members would cause Jane’s Addiction to blow apart after Ritual de lo Habitual, but Jane’s Addiction would reunite in 1997, and 2001, and 2008. The band is currently on hiatus.2. Shine on You Crazy Diamond – Pink Floyd (1975)
Dedicated to Syd Barrett, who ironically popped in from self-imposed exile to hear some of the recording session, Shine On (Parts I- V) is a 13 minute exercise in perseverance which imposes its will on most of the Wish You Were Here album. Shine On also has an accompanying Shine On (Parts VI-IX) which is an additional 12 minutes. As a founding member of Pink Floyd, Barrett only led the band for the recording of 1967’s The Piper at the Gates of Dawn. Erratic behavior and extreme drug use drove Barrett from the band in 1968, 6 years after meeting Roger Waters, Nick Mason, and Richard Wright and performing under different incarnations of Pink Floyd. Coming off of the legendary Dark Side of the Moon effort, Shine On You Crazy Diamond was never released as a single, but garners almost constant airplay on Classic Rock radio formats. How is a 13 minute song in constant rotation? When the opening track on your album sells 15 million copies, that’s how.1. Alice’s Restaurant Massacree – Arlo Guthrie (1967)
Another radio favorite, I always hear this song on Thanksgiving Day. Partially because of tradition, but also because the producer of every radio station in the United States wants an 18 minute break while getting stuck working on Thanksgiving. Now, Alice’s Restaurant Massacree is the lead single on Guthrie’s Alice’s Restaurant album. Not to be confused with the Alice’s Restaurant movie made 2 years later which also starred Alro Guthrie. Not surprisingly, Guthrie is most associated with his 1967 release, which is essentially a long, clever story about littering and the effects of which impaired his ability to be drafted into the Vietnam War. All the while, Guthrie plays the same musical loop on his acoustic guitar. After listening to it yet again with a more critical ear, the most astounding thing is how well Guthrie captures the essence of the 60’s.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Top 10 Ridiculous Food Challenges You Should Never Try
10. Habanero Challenge
This is perhaps one of the most well-known food challenges; people love to cram as many spicy peppers in their mouths as possible and see how long they can go before they need a drink. In all actuality, no one really enjoys it; their friends enjoy watching them do it and taping the results. This sort of activity is a social thing and usually precipitated by heavy peer pressure. Also, restaurants challenge people to eat large amounts of wings with Habanero sauce for the honor of being on their Wall of Fame and winning a free beer. That’s usually a pretty good way to inspire someone to do something dumb. Among the worst peppers out there are the Habanero and ghost pepper. Some people online actually go to the trouble to review peppers for hotness, and obviously have graded both of these quite high.While the Habanero can be quite painful to consume, it luckily isn’t particularly dangerous if you can handle spice well. The ghost pepper on the other hand, is actually quite dangerous and shouldn’t be consumed whole as a challenge. A pepper that strong is best put in very small quantities in a large dish. And then thrown into a deep, deep pit and never spoken of ever again.9. Pickle Challenge
The pickle challenge is probably one of the most disgusting food challenges on the planet, even if you like pickles. While there isn’t a lot of documentation on this specific one, probably because most people don’t want to do it, there are a few points that seem to be pretty common. The most obvious aspect of the challenge is that you eat an entire jar of pickles and all of the juice therein. Some people impose a time limit on this, because God forbid you dilly-dally on shoving that many pickles and disgusting juice down your throat. We aren’t sure why people enjoy wasting all this food; perhaps pickles were the only thing they had in the house.8. Hamburger Challenge
Many restaurants have done the enormous burger thing, but one has gone so far as to make a burger weighing 6 pounds. The recipe includes two whole onions and two whole tomatoes, and at least one whole head of lettuce. The restaurant also offers slightly less gargantuan burgers that are only 3 pounds, in case you’re not feeling particularly hungry that day. Like many restaurants, if you can eat the entire cow that they shoved between a loaf’s worth of bun, they will give you all sorts of prizes, such as the meal being free. One site has even come up with a home order version of the challenge. Basically, they give you a recipe, you make the enormous burger and tape yourself eating it within two hours. If you pull it off, you win $500, which unfortunately won’t be enough to cover the hospital bill for what you did to your body.7. Saltine Challenge
The saltine challenge sounds ridiculously easy at first. You are supposed to eat six tiny saltines in a minute. At ten seconds per cracker, that seems like nothing. Except it’s actually quite difficult, not to mention horrible. The salt, plus the dryness of the crackers, makes it essentially impossible to get them down within the time limit. Some people have tried on multiple occasions, and still been left with about two crackers at the end. While this challenge is basically impossible, and incredibly pointless, at the very least it’s safer and less wasteful than many of the others.6. Milk Challenge
The milk challenge is one of those activities that happen when you and a group of people you have nothing in common with are so bored that vomiting dairy products all over the room sounds like a good idea. The idea of the challenge is to drink an entire gallon of milk in just one hour without puking any of it back up. Most people who haven’t tried it think it sounds fairly easy, but the human body just isn’t very good at processing that much dairy at once. Except for Kobayashi, but that’s because he’s almost certainly a space alien. One person was so enamored by the challenge, and the never-ending failure of those who attempt it, that he created a website just to document everything about it it. It’s filled with picture after picture of people puking up milk, which is exactly the kind of content that Al Gore envisioned when he invented the Internet.5. Oreo Challenge
While most of these are solely about gluttony, some challenges are just plain silly. This is one of those. The Oreo challenge actually has nothing to do with how many you eat. Instead, you twist the Oreo apart and lick the white filling, then you stick the cookie on your forehead and attempt to eat it without using your hands. Of course, people have made videos of themselves doing this, because some things should be saved for posterity, and in case the robots need yet another reason to enslave us all without a second thought.4. Garlic Challenge
While the kids today don’t really enjoy eating large amounts of garlic, that doesn’t mean certain people haven’t made a sport of it. Some places actually host garlic eating contests, where the winner gets actual money, which they presumably then spend on tons of mouthwash in an attempt to anybody to come near them ever again. Just as crazy is the tale of a Japanese man who decided to eat a hamburger with 100 slices of onion, garlic’s more accomplished cousin. He didn’t finish the gigantic burger, not because it was a giant hamburger, but because he was really sick of the taste of onion. Because that’s exactly why people partake in these stupid challenges. Taste.3. Cinnamon Challenge
This is actually fairly popular as a rite of passage among young people daring each other into permanent YouTube embarrassment. This challenge consists of eating an entire tablespoon of cinnamon in less than a minute, with nothing to wash it down. The challenge sounds pretty simple, but you already know it’s not. Cinnamon is simply so dry that it pretty much immediately removes all the saliva from your mouth, making it near-impossible to swallow. While no one has yet died thanks to this stupid stunt, many people have suffered serious lung damage, not to mention a horrible case of something called Dragon’s Breath. Generally, “dragon” in front of something means “hot as hell and the sure sign of a bad time.” Maybe the garlic eating champion can lend these clowns a bit of mouthwash.2. Jell-O Challenge
The Jell-O challenge has quite a few variations, but the most popular one is to make a cup of Jell-O and down it in less than a minute, without sending it right back up. However, some people approach it similarly to the cinnamon challenge, and actually attempt to eat an entire dry packet of Jell-O. Because the real problem with downing cinnamon wasn’t that it was dry and impossible to swallow, but that it didn’t taste like strawberry.1. Banana and Sprite Challenge
The banana and Sprite challenge is possibly the stupidest idea mankind has ever devised, aside from war and the Virtual Boy. The challenge consists of eating two bananas, and drinking an entire liter of Sprite, as quickly as possible. This pretty much always leads to projectile vomiting, but that’s not the reason why this challenge is so mind-bogglingly dumb. No, it’s dumb because, unlike some challenges, you’re expected to vomit. Keeping everything down is not generally a requirement; the only thing judges care about is how fast you can shove everything down your throat. What happens afterwards is strictly your own disgusting business.
Friday, March 25, 2016
14 Things you need to know about Good Friday
14. How do we celebrate Good Friday today?
13. Good Friday in Cuba?
12. Signs of the Cross
11. The many names of Good Friday
10. The Scholars Belief
9. Are other devotions appropriate to Good Friday?
8. What happens after the Celebration of the Lord's Passion?
7. How is the cross venerated?
6. What liturgical celebrations occur on this day?
5. Are the sacraments celebrated on Good Friday?
4. Are fast and abstinence required on Good Friday?Yes. Paschales Solemnitatis notes: 60. Good Friday is a day of penance to be observed as of obligation in the whole Church, and indeed through abstinence and fasting.
3. Crucifixion Date
2. What happened on the first Good Friday?
According to the gospels, Jesus: Was taken before Pilate in the morning Sent to Herod Returned to Pilate Was mocked and beaten Saw Barabbas released in his stead Was crowned with thorns Was condemned to death Carried the crushing burden of his cross Told the weeping women what would happen in the future Was crucified between two thieves Forgave those who crucified him Entrusted the Virgin Mary to the beloved disciple Assured the good thief of his salvation Said his famous seven last words Cried out and died
In addition: There was darkness over the land There was an earthquake The veil of the temple was torn in two Many saints of the Old Testament period were raised A soldier pierced Christ's side and blood and water flowed out Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus went to Pilate and asked for Jesus' body He was buried in Joseph's own tomb A guard was set over the tomb All Jesus' friends and family grieved at his death
If you’d like to read the gospel accounts themselves, you can use these links: Matthew 27:1-66 Mark 15:1-47 Luke 23:1-56 John 18:28-19:42
1. Why is this day called "Good Friday"
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